franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Someone came in the potted fern
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
