we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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