they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
