areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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