I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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