the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
