He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
