i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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