Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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