well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
