That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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