I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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