You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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