just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
