Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
