Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
