doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
