sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
