It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
