so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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