if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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