I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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