Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
