Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Randomize
