Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
