On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
