Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
