it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
