it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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