Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
