I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
