they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
