Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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