We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
