Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
