Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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