How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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