beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
