Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
