Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
