I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
