Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my sisters under your porch take her home
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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