Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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