Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
