I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
