Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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