My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I stole a fireplace last night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
