i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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