I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
