My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We are all done wearing pants today
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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