if you like me you must not know who I am
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
